Saturday, August 23, 2008
Posted at 12:17 AM
Confession: I did horrible things today. And I feel like a sad b****.

Firstly, the sad part. I was in school waiting for Kin n Shida to arrive b4 we went for our ASL consultation.
It was then that I was thinking about that text message that I had received and read during an earlier group meeting. Message was super, super harmless and was sent in goodwill, I believe.
But it also got me thinking about how that text message could have been composed in the first place. How the content could have come about. And that made me really, really sad.
There wasn't much, or rather, any speculation that I could have done on my part. Cos it was all smack in my face.
What made me even more sad was how I let it affect me. So much.

I was so sad that I finished (almost) a whole pack of Dars Milk Chocolate. Cos I thought that it might actually lift my spirits up. Didn't really work though.

Which leads me nicely into the second part of this entry. About how I was being a b****.

I was being selfish. I was just too consumed with my own bad, bad feelings. I let the stupid matter earlier eat me up from inside. I not only let it affect me. I even let it affect my friends. And spoil their moods. I know for sure that at least a few of them were not feeling fine and dandy but I did not ask after them. Instead I wallowed in self-pity, and all other negative feelings. For all I know, I might have even caused them to feel un-fine due to my actions/non-actions.

I know it's too late and pointless even to apologise now. Cos the damage, if any, has already been done. Undeniably, I was being a b****.

But I'm still going to apologise now. I am truly sorry. And I realise I shouldn't have taken it out on the people that I love the most. :(

My period should just come already. My pms is frustrating me. And I bet it's frustrating the people around me also. :S